Poison Pen

Social identities are fun but perpetuating social amnesia is very annoying. By social identity – I’m referring to where a person re-invents themselves and takes on a new persona, then customizes everything else in their life to reflect that new persona or identity – clothes, hair, music, etc. I have used the word “persona” but it is more complicated and runs deeper in the psyche of the individual – which is why I will refer to it for the rest of this post as social identity. This is also not referring to famous people like Madonna – that’s a different kind of re-invention. I’m referring to a specific phenomenon I’ve noticed, well, pretty much during all my years of going out and following and enjoying various Scenes.

I’m sure it happens elsewhere but I am most intimately familiar with it here in San Francisco. The more severe re-invention cases seem also to do a serious customization of their past. It’ll be quicker to illustrate what I’m talking about by proffering this simplistic and probably highly familiar re-invention formula:

A Goth reinvents his or herself and now has a Fetish social identity. Then, after a number of years being fetish-identified, they reinvent again and now present with a retro Swing/Rockabilly/Burlesque social identity. Or, in more creative parlance:

Mistress of the Ashes and Lord of the Shadows reinvented themselves for a while as Mistress of the Whips or Lord of the Ropes and then re-invented themselves into their current incarnations as Mistress of the Pasties and Lord of the Ring a Ding Ding.

(There are many other sub-category re-inventions contained in that Goth to Fetish to retro S/R/B but I am specifically focusing on what seems to be the most prevalent three. A triptych of re-invention!)

Many of these re-inventions, at least from what I’ve noticed in San Francisco’s scenes, are very creative, and, depending on the individual, complex. They are also quite severe but I have to admire the devotion to duty (as it were). It also makes going out to various venues and events fascinating, fun and entertaining – to a point. Lately I’ve noticed, as Tennessee Williams wrote in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,  “the odor of mendacity” strongly wafting about.

So – now that you are Mistress of the Pasties and Lord of the Ring a Ding Ding – well, how strict does this current social identity have to be? Must you jettison everything about your former social identity? If so, why? To protect your new identity? To better focus or to streamline? Is it also vital that this current social identity constrict and narrow your social sphere to include only those things that would apply to this new you?

I wonder the above because I’ve noticed that many of these recently minted Mistresses of the Pasties and Lords of the Ring a Ding Ding are ruthlessly unwilling to acknowledge they were ever involved in scenes appropriate for or that joyfully pandered to their former fetish or goth social identities. Their eyes glaze over if I mention anything that happened after the 1950’s.

Bitch, please. Don’t pretend you went to some kool-aid party 5-10 yrs ago and took some amnesia pills and suddenly arrived at the swing/rockabilly/burlesque here and now with a cd collection full of the best of the swing years and the rat pack. Don’t act like you never wore head to toe velvet and swooped around the Roderick’s Chamber dance floor to Cocteau Twins and Fields of the Nephilim.  Don’t play like you never had that fetish phase, the one where you incorporated both goth and fetish and their sub genres and took to wearing fluorescent yarn for hair and lots of PVC even in the daytime. I saw you there weekly at Bondage-A-Go-Go at Trocadero on that dance floor working it alllllllll on out dancing to that NIN’s “Closer” remix or oontz oontzing and stomping your big boots at Assimilate at Cat Club with the rest of us. Contrary to what you may try to believe – you did not leap out of the womb doing a fan dance or listening to Frank Sinatra while polishing your spats or whatever.

Some people actually scoff and pull the : “I’ve SO moved on from all that!” Well, at least they acknowledge it even though I’m calling bullshit and thanks for playing.

The upshot is that I find it all so very limiting. I’ve gone to some highly enjoyable and regular retro events here: Little Minsky’s at the Deluxe one Thursday a month is a great regular show. The Hubba Hubba Review at DNA can be fun. I recently attended the amazing Cabaret Verdalet at Great American Music Hall. There’s also lots of little weekly fun things that fall in the S/R/B realm.

But it’s not the only game in town, people.

For instance, there’s a very enjoyable and interesting event that the Dancing Ghosts group curates – it’s an evening of listening and dancing to music centered specifically around artists associated with record labels like Beggar’s Banquet, 4AD, Factory Records and others. What’s perplexing and ultimately pathetic is that I find that most of these newly minteds would sooner drop dead than go to anything like that because it rests too inappropriately outside the boundary of their current social identity’s world. WHY? No, really, why? Do you now hate the music? Does it have too much of a “goth’ undercurrent? Or is this reluctance (and reluctance is putting it mildly) the side-effect of that amnesia pill you took at that kool-aid party 5-10 yrs ago?

Damn, I’d go stark raving mad with boredom if I had to limit my scope of socializing to the degree that so many people seem to be doing.

We all grow up, mature, change, evolve, move on, whatever. What’s that quote? The time has come to put away childish things – something like that. Well, I have moved on from many things, including some that I was once obsessive about. But, I haven’t tried to negate them. I haven’t tried to eradicate them from my past by pretending they never existed or scoffing at them with my nose in the air.  I may be embarrassed about some aspects of my past (and I have the pics to prove it) but if the alternative is re-inventing myself with an almost hostile clarity and limited tunnel-visioned focus – well, I choose the life packed with options, social variety and even potential embarrassment.

By all means, be your dream, live your dream, but at least pretend to be aware of the fragile and transitory nature of your current social identity. Do you know who you really are underneath your current incarnation?

And how is that house of cards working out for you?